May 31, 2012

Tattoos That Would Be Awesome

So I've been thinking about it for a while now, and I think that I want to get a discrete tattoo. Not one of those stupid "Look at me, I'm a slut" ones, but one that has some meaning to me. One of my friends got a play boy bunny on her lower back and said that it was because she loved the bunny, but knowing who she is, she did it because she thought boys would find it sexy. It's not sexy...
So I was thinking of getting something small on my wrist and/ or something on my back...
I want to get the one on my wrist to cover up some nasty scars from ages ago. Now that I am done with that I hate having to look down on my wrists and see medical scars and shit. Time for something that inspires me, not brings me down.
And I want to do the neck because I have hair that can cover it for interviews and stuff.

(I would do my parents initials)

I really have no clue, but I am determined to get one.

The hottest Bodies



Pictures I treasure


What's the shame in taking pictures of yourself?
I actually don't understand the prejudice people place on self taken pictures. There is so much else to be worrying about. Stupid people....
It's the one time in photos that you can look how you want to look, and not look like a stupid person grinning uncomfortably into the lens. Just my opinion but by the amount of selfies out there I'd say I'm not the only person thinking it.
Is it possible that having the pressure of someone else taking photos of us makes us look unhappy or faking happiness. Even if some of the Selfies that are taken are purposely taken to make ourselves look stupid, they weren't taken uncomfortably.


"Proper Photos"- As in Someone other than a person in the photo is taking the photo

Daddy's Girl

I don't care if I'm almost 18... I will forever call my dad daddy or papa bear. Some people don't understand the relationship that I have with my family, sometimes I don't understand it enough my self. But if you are fortunate enough to have a family that you can not imagine your life without then you know what I am getting at. I haven't seen my dad in a long time, and it's hard because he is my best friend. We talk about everything and I'm not ashamed to say it. If you can get anything out of this blog, it would be to make comparisons from my life to yours. So today, think of the good times with your dad, because you never know when they are going to be gone.

Let's go the the Mountains

When I was seven my little brother got really sick and they took him away to hospital. I didn't really understand what was going on. I knew something was wrong because daddy was more stressed out than usual, and mum was always at the hospital with Harrison. One day I remember asking my dad if Harrison was going to be ok, and as usual he tried to comfort me by saying something he didn't know to be true. But the next day he decided to take me camping. He packed the tent and some food into the back of the car and we just left. Don't get me wrong, we came back when we got a call from my mum to say that things were getting better... later that week. But every time things have gotten hard for me, he's just picked everything up and made everything better... We affectionately call it "Going to the mountains" I know its not the happiest story in the world, because my family was falling apart and my brother was sick, but I was never scared because daddy was always there making things better.

Khoa San Road

There's this clubbing strip in Thailand that I was desperate to look around, but my mum was strongly against me going there in general, let alone with friends. But one night my daddy got tired of me complaining that I was never allowed to go out with my friends, so we got into the car and drove to the clubbing strip. I know it's weird... going to a Night Life district with your dad. But I honestly had the time of my life. We got sodas and just made fun of all the stupid people walking around. At first I resisted because I thought I was old enough to go out by myself, but now that I am older I realize that being 15 does not make you old. What daddy did was so free of him, it's very much his personality.

Weekly Family Dinners

Every week that we are home, my daddy makes us go out to a dinner. This one night he picked a restaurant that was lit by fairy lights, and over looked Thailand's largest river and temple. It was so beautiful. We sat there, talked, ate each others meals and laughed alot. When I got home I take advantage of every moment, because alot of the time I feel like I live from Holiday to Holiday. Just waiting til I can be back there and be with them. 

May 30, 2012

I'm Sorry

Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time and take back things that I have said and done, and things that I haven't said or done. I think we all feel like this. But my Nunna always says that we can never have regrets, because they help us grow into the people that we are going to be. I wish that I could take back all the mean things that I have ever said. People can be stupid, mean and uncaring but that doesn't mean that I should recipricate it back.
Tonight I was mean to this guy that I would call a friend. I think I've been leading him on for a very long time which is an unkind act in itself. I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid. He's a good guy, so innocent and ready to believe anyone, and tonight I called him stupid. I went that one step further and compared him to one of my friends, who was once like a sister to me. Sometimes I get so tired, or stressed or effected by my day that I say/ do things that I would never normally say/do. So, I want to say sorry for the past and for the future.

TO Greg....
I'm sorry about tonight. Sometimes I can be the worlds biggest bitch, I should just wear a sign on my head that says "I'm a bitch tonight". There is no excuse for what I said, and even if I felt a certain way about our relationship, but bluntness was not necessary.

To Claire....
I wanted to change to make myself who I really am, and although I'm sorry we grew apart, I'm even more sorry that I didn't help you grow up with me. You were one of my first friends here, and I will forever be thankful for that. But I can't change who I am, and I'm tired of trying to change who you are. You are beautiful just the way you are, and I never want you to change, especially not because of me.

To Dania...
I'm sorry for calling you names all the time... behind your back. I know you think we're friends, but that's kind of what gets me. We used to be friends but you just kept back stabbing me, and throwing my trust straight back into my face. I get frustrated by you because you pretend to be something, and someone you are not. People are never going to love you when you pretend to be someone else. We already about this, obviously, but you never listen to me. You said "I don't know who I am... tell me who I am"... it's a testiment to our relationship when I say I don't know. I'm sorry I call you names behind your back, and avoid you at all costs.

To Stevo...
There are so many things that I have done wrong in our relationship. I never really committed because I was always too scared that you would run away. We both aren't perfect, and I think we know that which is what I love about us. You would travel distances to see me and brave seeing my dad, but I couldn't even brave the bus to your place. I'm so scared that one day I'll wake up and you wont be there, but on the other hand, I'm so scared that I'll wake up and you'll be there. I can't stop myself from talking to you, and wanting cuddles but I can explain wanting to stay away from you so I don't hurt you, and you don't hurt me.

To Anthea...
I'm sorry I put you in this position. I know how stressed you are getting about it. Truth be told Parker deserves to have you at his party. He is such a great friend, and you are such an awesome person, it would be wrong if you weren't there. I'm willing to give up you for my birthday party because I know that I share a bed with you, and see you more that 12 hours a day. 

To Harrison...
I'm so sorry that I couldn't be strong enough to protect you. Every time you fell down, I fell down double and I just couldn't find my way back up last year. I would get your letters and just sit there are cry. I honestly felt like I was the weakest person out there. I couldn't protect you from broken hearts or bones, from stupid teachers or students. I know I have been a little bit over protective lately, but only because I know that I have so much to make up for. When you were little you used to follow me around and I hated it. I would push you away and make games like "Ditch Harrison"... you followed me around because you loved me. I never want to push you away again, and I only want you to be happy. So I'm sorry for ever pushing you away, and for not being strong enough. But for you and Bells, I am trying to be better.

May 24, 2012

The Most Addictive TV Shows

Ok, so I have a confession to make. I've done no study tonight as I've been sitting in the bath watching my latest favorite TV Show- Game of Thrones.
Lately I've noticed that in challenging times, or times when relaxation is called for, people turn to TV shows. I think it's because we don't have to be apart of our own hectic lives for that forty five minutes, or if you're in the same position as me, three hours. I've discovered that it's totally normal, and actually pretty healthy to take yourself mentally away from your every day life, for just a little while, and enjoy the solitude. No Guilt should be felt, and of course, I will end up staying up past two in the morning, finishing my math portfolio. No regrets because there is so much time to make up for lost study time.

Most Addictive TV Shows

New Girl

The sassy, quirky characters keep you craving more, and in some way conveys to the viewer that they are not alone, no matter how crazy they are. Staring Zooey Deshchanel the show emphasizes the uniqueness of every person and endorses the freedom of personality that all the characters display, despite judgement. Definatly a feel good show, a comedy but deals with some underlying issues of self worth and growth.

Vampire Diaries

Whilst watching shows about vampires is mainstreaming -at the moment- this show entices the viewer with the attractive actors and the suspense filled story line. I had a friend come to me in tears today because she had spent the whole afternoon watching the most current season of Vampire Diaries, and had finished the finale not understanding why it had ended. She said "None of them are happy now" and it is true, it is quite a shocking ending, but it leaves the viewer with the hope of a new season, where things with inevitably right themselves.

Game Of  Thrones

Now I'm going to be totally honest, it took me a few re-runs to actually understand what was going on, as there is so much interchange between the "thrones" that I just lost what was going on. But once I caught up, and separated the different characters i figured out how they intertwined. The plot is very much fueled by power and sexual desire. I haven't seen an episode that lacks both gore and sexual scenes. I certainly wouldn't sit down and watch this with my little sister or my parents, but I think that once the plot is understood the series stands for a good watch.

Two Broke Girls

This series is more a comedy about anything, the plot is about two girls from very different backgrounds learning to live together and eventually becoming close. The plot doesn't really extend beyond the sarcastic jokes made by the tougher "poorer" girl, whilst the upper class complaints and jokes are made by the blonde fallen heiress. Not only do these two contrast in backgrounds, but also in looks and approaches to their lives. It's funny but not deep and meaningful, sometimes it's feel good, and sometimes you just want some one to laugh at. 

May 22, 2012

Reasons To Stay in Bed All Day In Year 12

1. Sickness

There is actually no point going to class if you aren't feeling well. You won't be able to concentrate and if you are anything like me you'll just put your head on the table and wonder what possessed you to try and come to class. There is something to be said about people who brave out the day, and go to class when they are feeling like shite. But on the other hand you can't afford to infect your classmates with your illness, especially in year 12. It's not ideal to miss class, but it's better to recuperate for a day, than risk ongoing illness, fatigue and contamination of the class room. 

2. You are considering Quitting school, because it's all too hard.

Firstly, it's not all too hard. It can be challenging at times, but bloody hell, life wouldn't be interesting if it wasn't. The best thing to do if you do end up feeling that way is taking a day off, sorting out your shirt, and doing work that is causing you to be stressed. I know this might not apply to some people. There is this one drop kick in my grade who, since year 10, has never cared if he passes or fails. Mike* turns up to class (sometimes), doesn't take notes, doesn't write anything on assessments, and plays his iphone in class despite the teachers telling him not to. I think it gets to a point in your schooling where you make the decision to try hard. I could deal with failing if I know that I have tried my best. But you will not fail if you try your best. It's impossible. 

3. You Have Work Due and Haven't started it.

People like that annoy me. At this stage you shouldn't be falling behind in your work. Only a minority work hard from the moment they start their education to the moment they finish it. I can understand the fear of punishment, but at this stage in the game, if you aren't fostering a standard of education then you deserve to be punished. I know it's harsh, but get over it, it's less than a year that demands so much of you. 

May 18, 2012

Who Am I Going To Be?

Tonight I saw my mommy again after such a long time. It was so good to see her again, just having her hold me made me feel so happy and realize that no matter what happens I will be alright.
I then went to parent teacher interviews, and even thought I didnt need to hold her hand, I did. I felt like, if she went away I would break. It wasn't that my teachers were giving me bad reports, it was the opposite, but the thought of me, finishing school in 176 days scares the crap out of me. I don't even know how to explain it, but soon everything will be over, and I'll have to be someone other than a student, a best friend...
Who am I going to be, when this is all over?

A Mom?

Somtimes I think I was born to be a mom, not just because I am good with kids, but because I can deal with the crappy times too. I don't want to be a mom yet, because I havent finished growing, but I know that no matter what, I will have kids, at some point in my future. But what I am really wondering is if, because I want kids so much, is that all I will ever amount to? Is that what I really want?

A Public Servant?

I know it requires alot of work, but out of all of my subjects I find it the most interesting. To be honest, I find the constitution extremely boring to study, but I love the study of criminology and social injustices. Maybe that's because of how I was raised. I mean mom and dad basically raised us to know right from wrong, and know how to protect ourselves. I think a place in Government would be awesome, but then again, I have no clue what I'm doing, and can only live term by term at the moment.

A Journalist?

Now to be honest, I have always loved writing. I never really cared about how intelligent I sound when I write, but since doing lit and english at school I have figured out that I am not half bad, if getting straight A's are evidence to that. I would love to travel around and be a correspondance jouranlist, or even one of those people who report on great holiday destinations. The fact that I have travelled almost every where around the world would probably help me in that department as well.

I know this is going to sound strange, but that's all I have and I don't have it in me right now to lower my standards. Sleepless nights, here I come.