May 18, 2012

Who Am I Going To Be?

Tonight I saw my mommy again after such a long time. It was so good to see her again, just having her hold me made me feel so happy and realize that no matter what happens I will be alright.
I then went to parent teacher interviews, and even thought I didnt need to hold her hand, I did. I felt like, if she went away I would break. It wasn't that my teachers were giving me bad reports, it was the opposite, but the thought of me, finishing school in 176 days scares the crap out of me. I don't even know how to explain it, but soon everything will be over, and I'll have to be someone other than a student, a best friend...
Who am I going to be, when this is all over?

A Mom?

Somtimes I think I was born to be a mom, not just because I am good with kids, but because I can deal with the crappy times too. I don't want to be a mom yet, because I havent finished growing, but I know that no matter what, I will have kids, at some point in my future. But what I am really wondering is if, because I want kids so much, is that all I will ever amount to? Is that what I really want?

A Public Servant?

I know it requires alot of work, but out of all of my subjects I find it the most interesting. To be honest, I find the constitution extremely boring to study, but I love the study of criminology and social injustices. Maybe that's because of how I was raised. I mean mom and dad basically raised us to know right from wrong, and know how to protect ourselves. I think a place in Government would be awesome, but then again, I have no clue what I'm doing, and can only live term by term at the moment.

A Journalist?

Now to be honest, I have always loved writing. I never really cared about how intelligent I sound when I write, but since doing lit and english at school I have figured out that I am not half bad, if getting straight A's are evidence to that. I would love to travel around and be a correspondance jouranlist, or even one of those people who report on great holiday destinations. The fact that I have travelled almost every where around the world would probably help me in that department as well.

I know this is going to sound strange, but that's all I have and I don't have it in me right now to lower my standards. Sleepless nights, here I come.

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