Self- worth

Have you ever had one of those days where you just think "Holy crap, I am one ugly human being".... Let me tell you... you're not. I know how easy it is to feel like that, and it's even harder when you have people around you that name call because they think it's funny or a term of endearment.
When people say to me they hate something about themselves I just counter that and say... what do you like about yourself?
This morning I woke up, looked in the mirror and said "Jess. You are one seriously pasty chick" But then I thought. That's ok, let's look at the positive things. I like my eyes, I like my lips and I like how my body actually has a shape- other than stick or ball. There is nothing wrong with those shapes, but my point is that we all need to start accepting ourselves the way we are. I did this survey this morning (feel free to do it)

http://mayouthsurvey.2012.sgizmo.com/s3/- by Mission Australia.

Negative Relationships

It made me reassess how I see myself.
Sometimes making yourself feel better about how you look or how you are means that you have to remove those people in your life who negative. I mean... that's easier said than done...

Sometimes.. You really do just have to cut off all ties.

Step 1: Make a list of the things that that person does that you don't like or makes you feel bad

Step 2: Delete/ throw away their number. Don't tell them that you are doing it, and don't say goodbye

Step 3: Surround yourself with positive people.

Mirror Hate

You don't like what you see in the mirror. Great. That means that you care. Last year I refused to look in to a mirror that didn't just show my face. I actually covered all my of my full length mirror in magazine articles about positivity and only left a space for my face. (Excuse the rhyme). I have come to realize that it's not healthy to hate how you look. Every one was born different, whether you are skinny or fat, stunning or average, tan or pasty (like me), it doesn't matter. As long as you're healthy you are fine. Image doesn't reflect the inside and it's silly to spend so much time and effort trying to make yourself look like the person you think you are.

Step 1: Combat every negative that comes into your mind. Eg. My face is covered in pimples.... but my hair is looking really good today

Step 2: Reassure yourself that there is nothing wrong with you. BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WHO YOU ARE

Step 3: Talk to a good friend about how you feel. Sometimes reassurance from someone else is the best thing.

Assertiveness

When I say be assertive, I don't mean be a bitch, I mean look out for yourself whilst looking out for others.

There is no point you stressing about what other people think, and therefore not doing something because you don't want people to think badly of you. If you want to say something, say it, and say it loud. Don't whisper it. You are not a mouse. You are a person and you deserve to be heard.

If you listen to people, then you therefore deserve to be heard. It's just the simple logic of being social. Don't be afraid of saying something that goes against the other person, because sometimes that is what can make a friendship. I know that if I come across someone who agrees with everything I say then it's going to frustrate me and eventually bore me. Don't be like that. You all have an opinion. So let's start using it.... don't just let it sit there in your mind. 

50 Shades Trilogy

Christian Grey... What a guy.
No seriously.... Why? Why did I have to find out about this book in the most important year of schooling? Why does E.L James have such skill that she can momentarily trick me, ME!, into thinking that my next relationship is going to be like this. Stupid. Silly Jess.

Any way, the book is great, for guys and gals. Guys can take a lesson from Mr. Grey and Girls can just enjoy the thought. Her description of the landscape and the emotions are so intense that in some parts I was crying, and in others I was crying. I can't believe there is going to be a movie! I have been thinking about the actors I would picture... and he's what I've come up with so far.

Christian Grey

Seeing Alexander Skarsgard  as Eric Northman in HBO show True Blood, I have been convinced that he deserves the role. Utterly. 

Anastasia Steele

Amelia Clarke.... Just so awesome.

Kate 

Emma Stone

Elliot Grey

Paul Wesley

Life Experience

With turning 18 and coming back to school I realized that, for me, nothing has really changed.
Because I constantly live at school I can't drink, or smoke so buying that stuff would be pointless. Not that I smoke, or drink excessively. However my parents still control what I do with my weekends, despite not living at home for over two years.
I had to stop myself from using the "I'm 18 now" excuse with them, because I knew that it would get me no where.

I don't think that being 18 makes me more important than everyone else, I think it actually means the opposite. Compared to all the other "adults", I'm lacking in life experience and wisdom. I'm still on the cusp of maturity- to the point where I still find fart jokes funny. But there is nothing wrong with that. So what if I still act young? I'm not allowed to act like a 16 year old, and not allowed to act like a 20 year old. What's the difference?

I strongly believe that to get life experience and gain wisdom you have to make your own mistakes, and most importantly learn from them. I'm learning heaps at school about intellectual things, but knowing the details of World War Two or Matrices isn't going to save me when I'm out at night with a few friends, it's home time and I have no idea how to get home because I'm so used to my parents picking me up. Where are my lessons in life? They don't exist, they left the school system when their obligation of sexual health was over.

Stupidity Level: 1000000

How am I going to learn which guys are the bad guys if I'm only meeting the guys that go to school with me? How Am I going to learn how to keep myself and the people around me out of the Emergency room?

I don't want to be stupidly uninformed.

Not that I think websites have any comparison to real life experience, but it is good to be at least in the know:
http://www.turning18.com.au/

Snuggle Bears and Yummy snacks

So I'm back from the holidays... which you know... was the best three weeks of my life. Don't get me wrong, I studied, and life was pretty hectic but I enjoyed every second of it. I ate my weight in yummy food and cherished my time with my family and friends.

I went shopping like a mad person because I didn't bring any clothes home, and because there were some epic brand sales that ever I couldn't ignore.

In addition to my well spent money I went to on a "tarts tour" with a bunch of friends to celebrate my 18th. I had my first Grey Goose shot, Went to my first strip club, Pole danced and rode a mechanical bull... Thailand was the best place to celebrate turning 18 :)

A Little Bit Of Me

Casual Non Smiling Selfie :) Maybe says something about my  insecurities

In order from the left: Ethan, Harrison (my brother) and me... On a Thai Island at sunset

App From IPhone...

My lovely brother and Beautiful mother

Duck Face and cheesy Asian smile (Jane and me)

At my birthday dinner at a pub with Jane and Meggy

Bronte and me

"Cranky Face"

Waking up the morning after my birthday party... at the beach

Bells beach in the dead of winter

The cove at Bells beach

My Feet after being in the water

Nat posing for the Phone 

Chels and Jane at Chinese Restaurant 

Bronte and I at the Chinese Restaurant

Home Time

Holidays are just around the corner in Australia, and not only am I going to be 18 for these holidays but I am going to be spending it in Thailand. Of course I'll be doing some study because it's the longest holiday that I will have, and the exams are soon. I'll also be sleeping for maybe two days solid. 

Here are some things that I am looking forward to about home:

Real Food

My mum makes the best food in the whole world. My family is from Malta, which is near Italy so we love things that are packed full of carbs (pasta, potato, bread). And then she is a champ at making Thai food, and all that other stuff. Then there are the buffets. I can't believe that the one school that I picked has the worst food available. I am over having half frozen, moldy food for meals.

My Own Bed

There is something so good about sleeping in your own bed. There is something about these beds in my boarding house that won't let me sleep. Maybe it's that I sleep where I work... or maybe it's that everything is so loud because I live with 60 girls. Just saying...

Relaxing

I can't relax at school because whenever I try, I get so worried that i should be studying, and thus I am not truly relaxing. When I go home, I can have a few hours of set study time, but then I can also just relax by the pool or in front of the TV, or even at the gym.

Going Out

Whether it be shopping or going out or night I will be doing it. There's the shops during the day and then the pubs/clubs at night.  Or going to the movies. I just want to be doing something other than what I am doing at the moment... which is nothing.

Child- 360

Just Read the Lyrics and think about it for a little bit. Sometimes you just have to stop and think.
Really Talented guy. Should listen to the song...

When I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya,

I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh…

I had a father who came from nothing

He took that and he made it something

He’d seen it all by his 21st, right

His mum and dad both left this earth, why

It was the drinking that killed his mother

He’s watching the same thing kill his brother

And he doesn’t say it much but he really loves us

And he doesn’t want the same thing to kill his sons

When he sees me with a drink in my hand

I understand now why he thinks that it’s bad

Cause he knows that it’s so evil

But he knows we’re our own people, so he lets us go

When I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

Now I know, now I know, now I know oh oh ohh…

Now I know, now I know, now I know oh oh ohh…

I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

See, I don’t know if God’s real

But if he is I can image how God feels

And there’s things I’d discuss with him

I bet he wouldn’t change much

But there’s shit he would have done different

When my grandpa passed away

I remember saying bye on his last few days

And I’m hoping there’s a heaven

I want to meet again

And I never met anybody as positive as him

Not many were as sick as him

But he didn’t let the illness kill his grin

And that’s why I went ahead and inked my skin

Cause I remember the smile when I think of him

When I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

Now I know, now I know, now I know oh oh ohh…

Now I know, now I know, now I know oh oh ohh…

I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

I didn’t know that my brother got bullied in school

If I could go back now, I wouldn’t be fooled

He probably thought mum and dad don’t fucking care

But it wasn’t even that, they were so unaware

Living in a family where money is favored

Makes us wanna say, I fuckin’ hate it

Brother though we gotta feel blessed as fuck

Just remember they only want the best for us

We got a mum that’s an angel, I’m thankful

To even have her in my life, I’m grateful

Family is anybody that close to you

See this song right here, it is overdue

For you…

When I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

Now I know, now I know, now I know oh oh ohh…

Now I know, now I know, now I know oh oh ohh…

I was just a child, I didn’t know much about ya, ooh… ooh…

Formal Dresses

I'm not even sure that I want to go to formal, but I figure that when every one of my friends and my parents demand it of me, I should probably look for a dress. Again... I have no clue what I am doing